We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
