Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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