Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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