I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
