I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
