This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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