he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
