I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
