Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
