Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
