omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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