Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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