Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
