Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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