People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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