I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
