Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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