But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
