He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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