the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
