I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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