She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We had to coat check the pizza.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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