your parents love me but you hate me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
