I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
