I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
