whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
