gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
