just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
