why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
