Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
