You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
