It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i out mim tonsoeep
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