I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
