So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
