bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
