Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
MIDGETS
????
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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