Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You need Xanax blowdarts
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
