Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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