I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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