did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
