batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
