you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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