You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
