Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
