My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
