I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
