my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
