So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
