Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
