Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
